![\"\"](\"http:\/\/hnetalk.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/03\/NotListening1.jpg\" "\\"NotListening\\"")
<\/p>\nKids, they think they know everything!\u00a0 We\u2019ve been through what they\u2019re going through, we know what it feels like and we want to tell them what we\u2019ve learned! But what do we hear? \u00a0\u201cI know Mom! You don\u2019t have to tell me!\u201d or \u201cYou don\u2019t understand! It\u2019s different for me!\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
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Funny thing is \u2013 it\u2019s really not all that different. I don\u2019t care whether you were a preteen\/teen in the 70\u2019s (as I was) or today \u2013 the issues are the same. Lies, gossip, rumors, betrayal, misunderstandings, broken hearts, first kiss, first love, first everything \u2013 it\u2019s not different. I think kids think it\u2019s different because they listen to different music, wear different clothes, have access to technology, etc. \u00a0But I can tell you, it doesn\u2019t matter that I was wearing Levi corduroy\u2019s, Mia clogs and listening to Parliament \u2013 I still went to school dances where you walked in with one boy being your boyfriend and by the time the dance was over, you had broken up, been told someone else likes you, danced with him, gave a kiss in a quiet doorway and left with a brand new boyfriend. Peer pressure, confusion, mistakes, regrets, homework, parental disappointment \u2013 we\u2019ve all been there and done that and have words of wisdom to offer our children, perhaps grandchildren, but it\u2019s so incredibly frustrating when they shut you down.<\/p>\n
We\u2019ve all heard that saying about history repeating itself, right?\u00a0 This is the real version:<\/p>\n
Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.<\/span> ~ George Santayana<\/a>, The Life of Reason<\/em>, Vol. 1: Reason in Common Sense<\/em> (1905).<\/p>\n But, wait – whose past is it that we are supposed to remember?\u00a0 What if we don\u2019t have the past to call upon?\u00a0 Our children don\u2019t. So, does it help to learn from someone else\u2019s past?\u00a0 Do we need to experience it all for ourselves to actually learn the lesson?\u00a0 Perhaps you cannot deeply understand a lesson or a consequence unless it\u2019s something that has actually happened to you.<\/p>\n Sadly, it seems as though my questions are not new. We\u2019ve long realized that people don\u2019t gain that much by hearing about an experience another person has had \u2013 it usually doesn\u2019t affect their own choices.<\/p>\n What experience and history teach is this \u2014 that nations and governments have never learned anything from history, or acted upon any lessons they might have drawn from it.<\/span> ~ Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel<\/a>, Lectures on the Philosophy of History<\/em> (1832), Introduction<\/p>\n Yet it remains so painful to watch our children go through things that they could have avoided if THEY HAD ONLY LISTENED TO US!\u00a0 (How many times have you uttered those exact words to your child? Aren\u2019t we all so predictable?!)<\/p>\n Perhaps we approach it the wrong way. Maybe it\u2019s not teaching what WE experienced and what WE learned but rather guiding our children in identifying their own lesson.<\/p>\n As one of my favorite authors writes:\u00a0 The teacher who is indeed wise does not bid you to enter the house of his wisdom but rather leads you to the threshold of your mind.<\/a> ~ Kahlil Gibran<\/a><\/p>\n