{"id":2119,"date":"2012-11-13T15:23:10","date_gmt":"2012-11-13T19:23:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.hnetalk.com\/?p=2119"},"modified":"2012-11-13T15:23:10","modified_gmt":"2012-11-13T19:23:10","slug":"my-spoiled-child","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/hnetalk.com\/home\/2012\/11\/13\/my-spoiled-child\/","title":{"rendered":"My Spoiled Child"},"content":{"rendered":"

So here I am. On the 40 yard line, in my folding chair, absolutely freezing, hot chocolate in hand, watching my 12 year olds football game. Next to me is a mom I\u2019ve chatted with many games before and today she brought with her one of her older kids whom I\u2019ve never met. He\u2019s one of those \u201cnew\u201d adults that like to declare all of his brilliant observations out loud so everyone can appreciate him. Honestly, most of his observations were insightful and funny. That is, until he commented on MY<\/em> child.<\/p>\n

\u201cLook at all these kids,\u201d he says. \u201cYou can tell which ones are spoiled. Look at that one there \u2013 number 42 \u2013 he\u2019s got the socks, the long sleeve Under Armor shirt, the grippy gloves, the waist hand-warmer pouch\u2026I bet he\u2019s a pansy.\u201d<\/p>\n

He didn\u2019t know he was talking about my son. I was instantly embarrassed but\u2026I was also filled with a million other thoughts and emotions; defensiveness being one of them. I mean, I was so pleased with all the things we\u2019d bought to make him well geared-up. I felt like we were doing right by him. And I had felt sorry for the other children that they were out there with exposed calves and forearms and\u00a0polyester jerseys that allow the wind right through. I thought about how far we\u2019d come in life (me and my husband) that we were now able to provide all of these \u201cextras\u201d to our youngest child. Having raised my older two children through a lengthy, expensive divorce and having put my daughter through college with no student loans, I know very well the life of shopping at the Salvation Army for snow pants and snow boots \u2013 or getting them bikes and skateboards from \u201cPlay it Again Sam\u2019s.\u201d\u00a0 I remember the days of convincing my daughter that the smell of a thrift store washes out and that \u201cthere is no way on earth anyone is going to recognize their discarded shirt on you at school!\u201d<\/p>\n

Yet on the drive home after the game, my husband and I talked about this young man\u2019s observation and what impact all of these \u201cextras\u201d really have on our son. Is he really better off than the other children?\u00a0 Sure, he\u2019s probably warmer, which is nice, but what of it?\u00a0 The other kids don\u2019t seem harmed by being cold. They pushed through their game regardless. So we probably aren\u2019t teaching him fortitude. <\/a>And isn\u2019t that an important thing to know?\u00a0 I mean, I\u2019m not saying fortitude is only taught by being cold, but if you think big picture<\/strong> \u2013 if you think about all the things we do for ourselves and our children to make life easier, the consequences may be that they don\u2019t develop the ability to handle the hurdles, difficulties, barriers and misery, as well as others might.<\/p>\n

My husband, as he often does, cited a movie scene to explain his thoughts. This particular thought was supported by the movie Rocky IV. We all know Rocky, right?\u00a0 So he\u2019s this tough, scrapper that came from the dirt of the city. He built himself from nothing and became a champ. Well, in Rocky IV we see that with success and wealth he\u2019s become comfortable, spoiled and soft. Meanwhile everyone else is still tromping through the grime of life, learning things the hard way with nothing and they meet Rocky in the ring and beat him to a pulp. \u00a0He sees that he\u2019s lost his edge. What does he do about it?\u00a0 What does he realize?\u00a0 He\u2019s realizes that he\u2019s got to go full circle, back to the basics. He forces himself to go through that struggle all over again, with nothing posh, no fancy equipment or machines. He\u2019s out there in the\u00a0winter in Russia in the middle of nowhere, punching frozen meat and pulling a load of rocks through the snow like a dog. He shows us in the movie that it\u2019s the struggle that keeps you strong. It gives you an edge. It teaches you fortitude.<\/p>\n

\u00a0\"\"<\/a>http:\/\/popwatch.ew.com\/2010\/12\/10\/the-fighter-rocky-iv-popwatch-rewind\/<\/a><\/p>\n

Maybe by making our sons life easy, we\u2019re actually making it more difficult.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ll end with a quote from William Faulkner, American author and Nobel Prize recipient:\u00a0 People need trouble — a little frustration to sharpen the spirit on, toughen it. Artists do; I don’t mean you need to live in a rat hole or gutter, but you have to learn fortitude<\/strong>, endurance. Only vegetables are happy.<\/a>\u201d<\/p>\n

So, tell me \u2013 how have your struggles in life actually proven to benefit you now?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So here I am. On the 40 yard line, in my folding chair, absolutely freezing, hot chocolate in hand, watching my 12 year olds football game. Next to me is a mom I\u2019ve chatted with many games before and today she brought with her one of her older kids whom I\u2019ve never met. He\u2019s one […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2119","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6ZZxW-yb","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/hnetalk.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2119","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/hnetalk.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/hnetalk.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/hnetalk.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/24"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/hnetalk.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2119"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/hnetalk.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2119\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/hnetalk.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2119"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/hnetalk.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2119"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/hnetalk.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2119"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}