{"id":2067,"date":"2012-09-28T11:37:52","date_gmt":"2012-09-28T15:37:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.hnetalk.com\/?p=2067"},"modified":"2012-09-28T11:37:52","modified_gmt":"2012-09-28T15:37:52","slug":"the-odd-couple","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/hnetalk.com\/home\/2012\/09\/28\/the-odd-couple\/","title":{"rendered":"THE ODD COUPLE"},"content":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s a common scenario.\u00a0 It happens every day.\u00a0 I\u2019m out with my husband and someone I\u2019ve never seen before approaches him warmly and they carry on a very animated conversation.\u00a0 Afterwards, I say, \u201cwho is that?\u201d and \u201chow do you know him\/her?\u201d It\u2019s always through something he participates in that I don\u2019t.\u00a0 Like the PTO, his racquetball league, coaching youth wrestling or any number of other volunteer activities he does.<\/p>\n

He knows everybody, everywhere.\u00a0 And if he doesn\u2019t know them, he will!\u00a0 He\u2019s outgoing, social and friendly. Voted \u201cMost popular\u201d in high school, he\u2019s that type who talks to complete strangers in a silent, crowded elevator.\u00a0 We are almost complete opposites.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t want to know everybody. I don\u2019t care to join this and participate in that.\u00a0 It\u2019s not that I can\u2019t, it\u2019s that it\u2019s not my preference.\u00a0 Yet, we are a couple and I get dragged into a lot of things that I wouldn\u2019t choose.\u00a0 I\u2019m often finding out that I\u2019m signed up to chaperone dances and work the concession stand at football games. He even signed up the whole family to join a Drum and Bugle corps two years ago and march in parades throughout New England!\u00a0 It\u2019s a good thing we all play instruments (but I don\u2019t think he would\u2019ve cared if we couldn\u2019t.)<\/p>\n

Luckily for him (and me), my introversion has nothing to do with shyness.\u00a0 I am definitely not shy.\u00a0 I will talk to everyone, I will dance alone on an empty dance floor (if they\u2019re playing my song), I will sing karaoke, and I will tell stories \u2013 I\u2019m just not motivated to get myself into the situations that make that happen.\u00a0 And luckily for the sanity of our marriage, I\u2019m pretty good at going along with the things he signs me up for \u2013 and he knows too, that when I say \u201cEnough!\u201d, that it\u2019s time for him to go ahead and go by himself.\u00a0 He gets me.\u00a0 I get him.<\/p>\n

I find that there are some common misconceptions about us introverts, though.\u00a0 Labels like \u201cshy\u201d and \u201csnob\u201d and \u201cstuck up\u201d and \u201canti-social\u201d have followed me my whole life.\u00a0 Here is a list of 10 myths, I\u2019ve found, that are adapted from writings by Marti Laney http:\/\/hiddengiftsoftheintrovertedchild.com\/<\/a><\/p>\n

Myth #1 \u2013 Introverts don\u2019t like to talk.<\/strong>
\nThis is not true. Introverts just don\u2019t talk unless they have something to say. Get introverts talking about something they are interested in, and they won\u2019t shut up for days.<\/p>\n

Myth #2 \u2013 Introverts are shy.<\/strong>
\nShyness has nothing to do with being an introvert. Introverts are not afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don\u2019t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an introvert, just start talking.<\/p>\n

Myth #3 \u2013 Introverts are rude.<\/strong>
\nIntroverts often don\u2019t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.<\/p>\n

Myth #4 \u2013 Introverts don\u2019t like people.<\/strong>
\nOn the contrary, introverts value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you\u2019re in.<\/p>\n

Myth #5 \u2013 Introverts don\u2019t like to go out in public.<\/strong>
\nNonsense. Introverts just don\u2019t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don\u2019t need to be there for long to \u201cget it.\u201d They\u2019re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for introverts<\/span><\/em><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Myth #6 \u2013 Introverts always want to be alone.<\/strong>
\nIntroverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don\u2019t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.<\/p>\n

Myth #7 \u2013 Introverts are weird.<\/strong>
\nIntroverts are often individualists. They\u2019d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm.<\/p>\n

Myth #8 \u2013 Introverts are aloof nerds.<\/strong>
\nIntroverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It\u2019s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them; it\u2019s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.<\/p>\n

Myth #9 \u2013 Introverts don\u2019t know how to relax and have fun.<\/strong>
\nIntroverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.<\/p>\n

Myth #10 \u2013 Introverts can fix themselves and become extroverts.<\/strong>
\nA world without introverts would be a world with few scientists, musicians, artists, poets, filmmakers, doctors, mathematicians, writers, and philosophers. That being said, there are still plenty of techniques an extrovert can learn in order to interact with an introvert. (Yes, I reversed these two terms on purpose to show you how biased our society is.) Introverts cannot \u201cfix themselves\u201d and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not a problem for me to be introverted.\u00a0 I don\u2019t see it as a negative or something that I need to change about myself.\u00a0 Nor am I jealous that I\u2019m married to Mr. Popular.\u00a0 Now, if you\u2019ll excuse me, I need to go be alone for a while and regroup.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

How many of you know what I\u2019m talking about here?\u00a0 Any fellow introverts out there?\u00a0 How does it work out for you when interacting or being in a relationship with an extrovert? Talk to me!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s a common scenario.\u00a0 It happens every day.\u00a0 I\u2019m out with my husband and someone I\u2019ve never seen before approaches him warmly and they carry on a very animated conversation.\u00a0 Afterwards, I say, \u201cwho is that?\u201d and \u201chow do you know him\/her?\u201d It\u2019s always through something he participates in that I don\u2019t.\u00a0 Like the PTO, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[13,19,1],"tags":[63,92,106,114,115],"class_list":["post-2067","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general-health-care-educational-series","category-mind-body-and-spirit","category-uncategorized","tag-extrovert","tag-introvert","tag-relationships","tag-shy","tag-shyness"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6ZZxW-xl","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/hnetalk.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2067","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/hnetalk.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/hnetalk.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/hnetalk.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/24"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/hnetalk.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2067"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/hnetalk.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2067\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/hnetalk.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2067"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/hnetalk.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2067"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/hnetalk.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2067"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}