It\u2019s annual review time at your office, isn\u2019t it? \u00a0Performance review, yearly review, etc \u2013 whatever you call it where you work, IT’S THAT TIME.\u00a0 (key dramatic music)<\/p>\n
The scenario goes something like this:\u00a0 You walk into your boss\u2019s office, prepared to hear what they think of your past years performance.\u00a0 You are expecting accolades! (I mean, not everyone is realistic about themselves. Sometimes we think we\u2019re far better at things than we really are, right?\u00a0 Otherwise how could you explain all those auditions on American Idol?)\u00a0 But \u2013 WHAM! – You end up blindsided.\u00a0 You honestly, truly<\/em> felt that you had a killer year and then your boss tells you that they didn\u2019t see it that way.\u00a0 Talk about a deflator!\u00a0 You leave their office \u2013 if not in tears, then definitely stunned.\u00a0 Then you drive home feeling either angry or dumbfounded and self doubt fills your mind.\u00a0 \u201cHow could I have been so wrong about the way that was going to go?\u201d\u00a0 And that pretty much sums up the rest of your evening, or week\u2026or month\u2026or life\u2026<\/p>\n Yeah, you could stay in that place.\u00a0 That, \u201cI can\u2019t believe it\u201d or \u201cThey are an idiot!\u201d place. But, it certainly doesn\u2019t do you any good to wallow or deny.\u00a0 And if you stay in that place, you\u2019re going to get more of the same, year after year.\u00a0 What you could do, is take a deep breath, acknowledge what they\u2019ve said to you and figure out what you\u2019re going to do with it.<\/p>\n It is not an easy thing.\u00a0 I know that.\u00a0 We all know that.\u00a0 You can\u2019t just say, \u201cFix all the things!\u201d and wave a magic wand.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to begin somewhere, though.\u00a0 And you know the best place to begin?\u00a0 Your attitude (actually, that might have been your problem in the first place.)<\/p>\n So, get out of bed the next day after your review, put your feet on the floor and\u00a0decide how it\u2019s going to be.\u00a0 You<\/strong> have the power to change things for yourself \u2013 even if you don\u2019t think so.<\/p>\n I remember as a little girl, hearing from my mother things that a true southern (Alabama) mom would say:<\/p>\n \u201cPretty is as pretty does.\u201d \u00a0(People will judge you by the way you behave)<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019ll catch more bees with honey, not vinegar.\u201d\u00a0 (Nobody is drawn to a negative person)<\/p>\n \u201cTurn that frown upside down!\u201d (Smile)<\/p>\n \u201cEveryone becomes deaf to the coon dog.\u201d\u00a0 (When you whine all the time, people stop caring)<\/p>\n \u201cFake it till you make it\u201d (Imitate confidence so that the confidence produces success.)<\/p>\n Why am I telling you those quotes?\u00a0 Because they are all true!\u00a0 (Sometimes mothers know what they are talking about.)\u00a0 See, what my mother was trying to say to me was that you\u2019ve got to act a certain way to get certain results. If you go around telling yourself that you are terrible, then you will believe it and you will actually be<\/em> terrible.\u00a0 The purpose is to avoid getting stuck in a self fulfilling prophecy related to your fears or wounds, as the case may be.<\/p>\n In research at Wake Forest University, for example, scientists asked a group of 50 students to act like extroverts for 15 minutes in a group discussion, even if they didn\u2019t feel like it. The more assertive and energetic the students acted, the happier they were.<\/p>\n