Yep – Bullies Grow Up, Too.

Posted on April 19, 2012

No one is immune to bullying.  We know it as an epidemic in our children’s schools, yet you know as well as I do that there are bullies on the PTO, and sitting beside you in the Fenway Park bleachers and at your job.  

According to research by Zogby International, 37% of the American workforce experiences bullying on the job. But I wonder how much bullying at work goes unreported?

What about the employee, who is dedicated to their work, loves what they do and really wants to stay at their job? How about the employee who has devoted many years of service to an organization only to experience hostility and abuse from supervisors or co-workers? Do they think they must remain silent? How many people suffer in silence?

According to the NY Times, the common workplace bully is much more subtle than “the playground” bully, which makes it difficult for the person being bullied to report him/her. It may start with a belittling comment at a staff meeting or “forgetting” to invite someone to an important meeting or work event. It’s also the sabotaging type gossip to co-workers.  “If the bully is a supervisor, victims may be stripped of critical duties, then accused of not doing their job,” says Gary Namie, founder of the Workplace Bullying Institute, an advocacy group based in Bellingham, Wash.

Workplace bullying can make doing your job difficult. When someone at your job makes you feel intimidated, injured, belittled or humiliated, you’re likely dealing with a bully.

The advice out there tells us to not stay silent when you’re trying to cope with a bully. The stress and distraction of bullying can lower your productivity, make you tense and irritable, and even cause you to lose your job, so speak up and try to have the problem resolved.

Here’s some helpful advice:

1. Recognize that the problem has nothing to do with you. Though you may feel that your behavior or presence is contributing to the bullying, this is not the case. 
2. Keep a journal that details how you’re being bullied. Write down specific things that the bully says or does, as well as the dates and times that these encounters take place.
3. Keep copies of any evidence you have that negates the bully’s claims if he is denigrating your work performance or ethics. Save time sheets, emails and finished reports to show that you’re staying on task and working hard.
4. Talk to the bully, as long as he isn’t being physically threatening. Explain that he’s making work difficult, that you haven’t done anything to harm him, and that you would appreciate being left alone. If he stops the bullying at that point, you won’t have to take the issue to your boss.
5. Make an appointment to talk to your boss, especially if you feel physically intimidated or humiliated. Show her your journal and any other evidence you have. If possible, ask a friendly witness to corroborate what you say. Ask your boss to help you make the office environment safer and less stressful.

Bullying, of any sort is not about you. It’s about the bully getting control. But that doesn’t mean that you freely give away power of your life.  Taking responsibility is the first step. The most difficult part of bullying is that the harasser has to realize there is a need for them to change their behavior.  Bullying is nothing less than humiliating. Empower yourself with choices for your highest good. Learn about assertive behavior and practice in safe circumstances.

The bottom line is you are worth being treated with respect at all times. Empower and arm yourself with support and knowledge.

 Here is a very helpful and eye opening quiz to figure out if what you are experiencing at work is bullying.

http://psychcentral.com/quizzes/workplace.htm

Categories: General Health Care: Educational Series, Healthy Links, Links We Love, Mind, Body, and Spirit, Uncategorized

Tags: bullies, bullying in the workplace, dealing with a bully at work