Candy Stupor
Posted on October 26, 2010
SPICE: Ok, so it’s almost Halloween. And how long have those miniature candy bags been taunting us in the grocery store and pharmacies? At least a year, right? I walk into a store and the smell of little packaged chocolate hits my nose. I immediately go into a candy stupor, just like when I was little. My stomach starts churning, my mouth starts watering and I’m filled with glee!
And, mind you, I’m all past the whole trick or treat thing. That’s an afterthought. This is between me and the bags of goodness. If you snapped your fingers in front of my face and said, “Hey, this are for the little children” it would be like waking someone up from a coma and expecting them to accurately state the date! “Huh? What? Who? When?” is all that I’d be able to say.
But it doesn’t end on October 31st. No! No, it goes on. Then there are pies, pies, pies for Thanksgiving….figgy pudding (what the heck is that, anyway?) candy canes and sugar cookies for holy holidays…more chocolates and redhot hearts for Valentine’s day…more chocolates for Mothers day….on and on and ON and ON and ON!!!!!!!!!!!!
It’s a plot. A ploy, I tell you. It’s some evil overlord of fat thighs and giggly butts in charge of it all. Laughing from their mount on high while they observe their power over us weak ones below. Bwah ha ha! 
Here’s a (sad but fun) fact for you: last year I figured out that I can eat 10 Hershey Kisses before getting diarrhea. And I did. Often. That’s why I weighed 10 pounds more than I do now….
But this year, it’s not gonna happen! I will not eat all that junk. I will bypass these treats. I will chew gum, I will drink water, I will eat an apple, I will eat little tiny cute carrots. Are you with me, there, Sugar?!
SUGAR: Yes! And my Halloween advice to you….just remember “fun size” candy bars do not make for a “fun size” butt!!
SPICE: WE CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(now for some additional reading: http://www.ehow.com/how_4616127_stop-weight-gain-during-holidays.html)